I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
