Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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