yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
