Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
