do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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