THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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