Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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