You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
