I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize