Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
