he wants to bone in the snuggie
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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