Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
