Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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