i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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