So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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