Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
