Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
