There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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