I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
