i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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