i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
