After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize