on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
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