We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
