My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
