You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize