Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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