I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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