I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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