woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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