U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
