break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
