She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize