There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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