I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
