Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we made out on top of his cat.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
