Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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