That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
