glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize