I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So many bounce houses so little time
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
