I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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