At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
