Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The uberlube is also flammable
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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