I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
