I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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