I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
