Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
