Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Randomize
