I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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