Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
