Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
