The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize