all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
