meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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