So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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