Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
