Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
