hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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