sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
