Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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