You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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