after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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