I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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