You work out of a Hotel?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
