If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
