Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
