i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
