you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize