i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
