well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
