Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize