Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
