She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize